Embracing Life
Finding meaning in love and death
Being a celebrant isn’t just writing words and speaking them at ceremonies. It’s so much more than that.
Let me tell you a story.
I have been a celebrant since 2003.
It has always, for me, felt like an honour to be there for families at sad times and to be there for couples celebrating their love during the happy times.
Welcoming wee babies and running retreats for people to come and consider their spiritual well-being is also a part of what I do.
As Celebrate People has grown since we created it in 2017, as directors Gerrie and I have carefully invited amazing individuals to join us on this path.
Some came with vast experience, some with none. But together we continue to learn and grow.
For me, one of the most important aspects is taking this precious gift and using its lessons for good in other elements of life.
When the tables turn and I’m celebrating, mourning or contemplating to know that I am part of a group of profoundly talented celebrants is a huge comfort and support.
I’m going to tell you why.
In December 2024, Gerrie and I celebrated our ten-year anniversary. It was significant not just because it was a decade of being married to the love of my life, but also because we were allowed to be married in the first place.
On the 16 December 2014, the law regarding same sex marriages changed - there was no longer a ban. The barriers were down.
We submitted our papers and in a joyous ceremony on the 31st December 2014 we were declared married.
In that moment we were genuinely blown away with the intimacy and connection between us as a couple and with our nearest and dearest.
Shortly after our own ceremony, I conducted the marriage of two women and so did Gerrie.
We stopped there that night but since then we have had many wonderful moments with couples from the LGBTQIA community and have supported them to celebrate their love and commitment in their own way.
To celebrate such a historic milestone moment in Scottish history, we have been delighted to share our message of equality and celebration of love with the media to continue to highlight the need for acceptance of same sex marriages.
We were on a retreat for our anniversary and we sang one of the love songs from our ceremony. It was a special moment.
And today came the sorrow.
My dear Uncle Bruce died peacefully in his sleep having struggled with the physical frailty that often comes when a person is in their 90s.
Bruce remained as sharp in himself as ever recalling life, music, poetry and language.
He was an incredibly creative and talented individual.
A rare ability on piano and organ and also enjoyed playing a variety of brass instruments in bands over the year.
As a young man when his BB (Boys Brigade) division were planning a trip to Holland and decided a bagpipe tune was in order but there was no piper, Bruce took himself off for a walk in the woods with a set of pipes and returned a few hours later as the Piper they needed.
As an artist, poet and writer Bruce was also uniquely talented and prolific. My cousin has laid out his life’s journals to be catalogued along with his poems and drawings too.
What to do with the musings of a sometimes troubled mind?
A box awaits me in Wales.
Gerrie and I are grateful that we had many open and honest conversations with Bruce about life and spirituality, which he had pondered over greatly.
He came to see life as important by way of connections between people and that we all contribute to the greater whole in our own way.
An epiphany in his 30s led him to this and then gradually towards a gentle form of Quakerism in his latter years.
We also got to help him record what he wants said at his funeral, so that is next in my celebrant journey, the funeral of a man I have known and loved for all of my 64 years.
In Wales.
Who said this was easy or a job? It’s a way of life for me and one that I embrace alongside the ups and downs.
Knowing that my friends who are a part of Celebrate People will have my back during this particular ceremony means the world.
Despite my sadness and grief, I consider myself to be very lucky indeed.
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